December-Answer

Dear readers.

Here come your letters with the answers to my December-question. Thank you all for your honesty. I wish you all the best. And I hope, making a step into a new direction of friendship, love, trust and forgiveness, has rewarded you.


Dec 3rd, 2018, Marie, 36 years old

… my sister and I had a bad start into our relationship. She was already six years old, when I was born. She is the daughter from another man. A man, with whom our mother went through horrible times. He was abusive and maybe he even maltreated my sister. She had lived through almost five years, being emotionally left alone by a mother, who had to overcome her own despair before she could take care of her child. Then relief. Our mother left her first husband and found refuge at our grandparents’ house. My sister finally could feel, that she was a loved one, a wanted one. And a few months later, our mother met my father, they fell in love, produced me, got married. Nobody asked my sister. And this was the beginning of jealousy, of anger, of sadness …

… she left our family with sixteen, she went through drug abuse and false friends. But she would never come back. I do not know, where she lives, nowadays. I do not know, if she found love and happiness. And if I could change that “not-knowing”, I would. From today on, I will try to change our story. I will search for her. Maybe we find each other again. Maybe she can understand now, that I did not have this kind of relationship in mind, when I came as a newborn into her life …


Dec 5th, 2018, Martin, 49 years old

… I am divorced. I have two children. I am alcohol abusive. I lost my family, just like that. I am working on my drinking habits. I am looking for a job. Christmas is fucking hard this year. I have no money for buying presents. No friends or family who would care for one from me anyway. If I could, I would want to ask my son and daughter to spend some time with me. But their wounds are still too fresh. And I could mess it all up even worse …


Dec 6th, 2018, Sabine, 55 years old

… last year my father died. I was not there. Too busy. Travelling to close an expensive deal for the organisation I work for. Lose my job or leave my father dying alone in the hospital. What a choice. I always thought, I must make a career in order to have exactly that. Freedom to choose. Freedom to be. But the more I climbed up the ladder of success, the less choice there was of how to spend my private life. I accomplished all my tasks brilliantly, the day, my father died. But all I would have wanted to do, was holding his hand. Telling him, that I love him. Dear father. If you can still sense, hear or see me, take that message of mine. I have changed my life, the moment, the hospital called and told me about your passing. I am more aware of these little things outside my office life. I have cut working hours. This does not bring you back. But it brings me back. I have the feeling, that I have never really lived. Now I do. Thank you, Dad


Dec 8th, 2018, Stephan, 43 years old

… maybe I should phone Hannes. He and I got into a fight over this girl, 8 years ago. Actually, this girl was my then getting married and now having divorced wife. It did not work out after all. I lost my best friend, trying to win her heart. Now I feel, having made the wrong decision. Hannes is still happily married, as I heard. His kids are doing fine. I should not only call him, I will do so. And we will not talk about the past, rather about a follow-up of our friendship. I wonder, how he reacts, once he picks up his phone tonight …


Dec 8th, 2018, Christa, 74 years old

… my Grandson is not visiting anymore since 6 years. By now, he is 24 years old and my daughter told me last week, that he is going to get married coming summer. Without me. I am not invited. I do not know his soon to be wife. Have never seen a photo. Maybe it is my fault. I was influenced by friends, said wrong things, hurt him and hurt myself. Don’t want to talk about it. I am sad. Crying a lot. Feeling lonely. What did I live my life for? Will we ever reunite? I don’t know. If this letter appears on the Website, I will send the Link to my daughter. I hope, she passes it on to him. Marco. And I want to say it here, because I am not courageous to directly reach out to him myself. Marco. I am sorry for what I said and did. And I love you. And I miss you! Your Oma …


Dec 8th, 2018, Rangana, 32 years old

… I am from a little village by Ceylon in India, where I met my German wife. She was there as a missionary about ten years ago. I fell in love with her as a young IT-student. I applied for a work-and-study scholarship at a car manufacturer in Southern Germany and I was accepted. How great. We married soon after that. It was important, because we wanted to share our life together. My wife is pregnant now. My parents are not healthy. I am regularly sending them money for the treatment. They are unable to travel far. We have not enough money to do both, send money to my parents and make savings to fly to India. Once a week, we have a skype call. My mother starts crying in our conversations. I wish to meet them soon. Physically …


December 11th, 2018, Peter, 39 years old

… My son must have turned 18 by now. I have never seen him. And I don’t know, if he knows about the truth. That he was adopted the moment, his mother, a drug-abusive young teen, gave birth to him. Her and I took drugs, smoked chain, drank alcohol, wasted our time, did stupid things, during that time. We were not ready to become parents. We had no sense of responsibility. I don’t know him. But I miss him. And I hope, deep in my heart, that he might want to know me one day. I have stopped drinking, stopped doing all these stupid things. And I have met a wonderful woman, who supports me, whenever I need someone. I am not an easy person, but she loves me. Sometimes, mostly in December, I wish, that the door-bell rings. And that I open the door. And that a young man is standing there, looking a little bit like me …


December 14th, 2018, Mojo, 17 years old

… I am from Senegal, the fourth out of five children. My father is a fisherman. We live on fishing, but there is not enough for everyone. My eldest brother is trying to keep the family business alive, but it’s not even enough to feed all of us. That’s why my second oldest brother decided to emigrate to Europe. He took a ship in the direction of Spain. That’s been over two years ago and we have not heard from him since. My mother mourns and we pray every day hoping, that he is not only alive, but happily and healthily alive

 

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